ROME
historical disneyland
The adventure started from the moment we left the airport. The crazy Italian driver just weaved through traffic like a mad woman. The honking wasn’t a warning, it was an announcement that you are about to be cut off. It started to feel like a Miyazaki movie, when we were traveling through a tight green corridor. It was as if we were being taken to a secret place. And voila, Rome appeared out of the horizon in all its glory. It was just dome after dome, it felt like a fairy tale. Reality started to set in as soon as we got closer to our Airbnb. Oh tagging, it was good to see you here too. But the architecture is just too pretty to make it ugly. It still looked like a theme park.
THE ARCHES
I was completely star struck by these Arches. It felt surreal that I was standing where great men of history once stood. These Arches were essentially a flex that would withstand the test of time. And it worked. Now people from all around the world are flexing in front of their ultimate flex. Flexception.
The Arch of Constantine
The arch of Constantine is especially important to me, Constantine made Christianity the state religion. This led to the creation of the Roman Catholic Church. And they came over to colonize the Americas. This Arch is a physical manifestation of the tides of history, that made my birth a reality.
Originally though, one of the purposes of this Arch was to convince the people that Sol Invictus, the Roman sun god was on Constantine’s side. That’s why he beat the other dude no one cares about because you know he lost. Constantine was all about being aligned with god. So he declared a day to worship the sun god and that day is known as Sunday. And when Constantine converted to Christianity they just made Sunday the day for the Christian God. This is yet another example of Christianity culturally appropriating another pagan tradition.
The Arch of Titus
This Arch is a celebration of Judea’s destruction, the Jews hated this monument so much the Rabbis in Italy banned Jews from walking under it. One of the main reliefs is a depiction of Romans stealing everything valuable from the 2nd temple. It’s also no coincidence that the Nazi’s used the Roman eagle (third picture) as their symbol, the Nazi salute was also the Roman salute. But back to the story, so basically during this time Rome was regarding their Emperors as gods. The Jews were like “na breh YAHWEH is only god.” But the Romans were like “that’s cool and all, but Roman Emperor also god”. So, the Romans went ahead and put a statue of the Roman Emperor inside their main temple. The Jews were super butt hurt about that, so they rebelled.
Then Titus, as a general came in and wrecked them. They killed close to a million Jews, looted everything, and completely destroyed the 2nd temple. The Jews took close to two thousand years to become a nation once again.
Colosseum
Also known as the Flavian Amphitheatre. The Romans used all that sweet Jewish money they stole to begin its construction. The Romans loved to loot places, just like their thuggish ancestors. They made this Colosseum as yet another flex and to obviously hold games. When it was finished being built, they held 100 days of games. Sometimes in order to flex on the public, they would hold massive games where they would kill thousands upon thousands of exotic animals. The basic message was “here’s some weird shit from some place we rule over. Now we kill it yay! We are so awesome. Rome #1! *dab*” Also different members of the Aristocracy would hold games in order to win over the public, and of course flex on their peers. The craziest thing they did was to recreate naval battles. Man, if only I had a time machine.
Palatine Hill
Overall, it was the place where all the elites lived. It had the Emperors palace, and of course the major temples dedicated to Roman gods. The elites here thought it was trashy to be seen out walking in public, so they had their slaves carry them around in a litter. Or they rode horses. But walking on the street, pfft they weren’t some lowly plebs.
Some nice shots to over view Palatine Hill.
The Roman columns were just so big. On one of the pictures can give you a better sense of the scale. The Romans, mostly copied the Greeks, they loved all their art, language, and religion. Keep in my mind that Romans weren’t classy people they were just warriors. And they actually had pride in being hard people. Fun fact the difference between Roman columns and Greek columns are that Roman columns are one solid piece while Greek columns are stacked. The elites also mostly spoke Greek as well, to show how fancy they were.
Too bad this statue didn’t survive. But at least the foot is still there, and that’s enough to show how big some of the statues were.
According to the little museum inside this was the type of huts people lived in before the Roman empire. Funny enough the Roman Empire did have some humble roots. They started off as a bunch of bandits that stuck together, then demanded all the women from another village to become their wives. Just goes to show that governments are just thugs that kicked enough ass to make people follow them.
Famous Fountains
Trevi Fountain
Fontana della Barcaccia
These looked really cool, but I don’t know much about the renaissance. I did throw a coin over my shoulder at Trevi Fountain, so you best believe I’m going to be coming back to Rome. These fountains I can say are Italian not Roman. But they were built when Italy was still a bunch of city states and not an actual country. What I do like about these fountains, is that they were built when art was being nostalgic over Greek art and gods. Most European art before the Renaissance was just a bunch of Jesus stuff.
Egypt in Rome
Rome’s stolen treasures
These obelisks you find in Rome are dope. They were straight up stolen from Egypt after Rome conquered them. Augustus started this trend in 10 BC, he was able to do this after he defeated Cleopatra and Mark Anthony. Before this, it was kinda acknowledge that Rome was in charge, but they still had a Pharaoh. After this defeat, Augustus wasn’t having any of that Pharaoh crap. And thus, the last Hellenic Kingdom came to an end. So, then he brought these over to basically say that: “hey, those Egyptians we were talking mad shit about, we kicked their asses. Look at their cool stuff, we have it now lol. Rome #1 *dab*”. After they ran out of obelisks they could steal, wealthy Romans requested them to be built and brought over.
But at the end Christianity won out, all the obelisks had a cross placed on top of them. Because Jesus is now #1.
PIZZA
It was all about the beer and pizza. The beer was cheaper than water so of course I had to indulge. What I liked so much about Italy is that I can eat my favorite food and still eat the local cuisine. Same with pasta, man I can be a fat American without any of the guilt. Yes, the culture, yum, very delicious. The weird thing though is, that they eat pizza with a knife and fork. And you had to cut your own pizza. That whole experience made me feel trashy for eating pizza with my bare dirty hands. But I don’t care, and I hope places in America leave this part of the authentic experience out. I want my pizza cut.
a small memorial for my trusty backpack
Oh backpack, you’ve were with me for many years. I’ve had you through out all my early adult life and now here I leave you to rest. You always carried my laptop safely. And made sure no harm came to my life source. But alas, I needed a bigger backpack for my journeys. And this will be our last adventure. I hope you are being used by some bum somewhere in Rome. Or maybe you are just living out your old days in a dump. You will be missed.