It’s all starts with a primal scream

What first drew to me the Aesop fable The Dog and The Wolf. Was the romantic idea of being free from anyone’s rule not matter the consequences. But in order to live by your own rules you have to have a sense of self. Crying is the first amalgamation of ones’ own identity. It’s the primal roar of the ego. Although crying, begins of as an automatic reaction, the baby quickly learns that it’s a way to communicate.

There’s an instinctual understanding that discomfort is not enjoyable. And the only tool that a baby has is to simply scream it’s head off. A baby has no concept of other peoples’ desires, a baby doesn’t care that you might be in an epic gamer moment. Or that you’re just trying to binge watch whatever show you might be into. All it knows is:

Instead of saying I am hungry, I am in pain, or I am lonely, all we can do as a baby is cry about it. It’s funny that people are teased about crying as a reaction to something bad. But it’s because it’s the most ineffective, immature way to express discomfort to another person. Yeah, I know duh. But there’s just that remarkable notion that crying is the most primal way of expressing a desire for anything. The foundation of the self is an avoidance of pain and discomfort.

With time a baby is supposed to learn that crying isn’t the best way to express feelings of discomfort. A lack of language and physical ability instills a paradigm where a baby generally goes with the flow. There is a period of conformity, a baby has no other option. Until a point of development when there is an end to this paradigm, because there has been progress.

Now we finally reach the terrible two’s. When language and physical movement progresses the ability to express oneself. And the word “no” is finally understood by toddlers. This is the biggest development of the ego and the foundation of freedom. The ability to refuse to do something is the realization that there is an alternative of being told what to do.

And naturally a toddler goes HAM on this idea. Because fuck you, you taught me crying is trash. So you know what, how about a giant no to everything. Eat these foods? Well you know what, it ain’t chocolate so go fuck yourself, no. Go to bed? I ain’t done having fun, so no, I’m good. You know what I’m just bored and being a defiant asshole is novel, so I’m gonna eat some poop. This need to be defiant goes so deep that children in Laos play with cluster bombs even though their parents tell them that they will lose their limbs and die. According to articles, Laotian kids don’t realize the consequences. But I met a person who grew up in the Laos countryside and kids really just do it to be troublemakers. It’s not like they haven’t seen anyone who has gotten blown up.

In order to have any concept of freedom one has to have an identity. If one was to simply says yes to everything. They would be no different than a baby that doesn’t cry anymore. The path towards freedom is carved by one’s own will. And the beginning of that journey starts with saying no.